Preschool Friendship…How Cute!

I was observing Annora interact with her friends the other day. It was fun to see them get imaginative, play dress-up, get the Barbies out, sing crazy funny songs, etc. It was nice to see her as a friend as well. She was kind, gentle, and patient with her sweet little guest. I noticed that a conflict arose between the two when one of them didn’t want to play what they were currently playing. Instead of jumping in to help resolve the disturbance, I watched it play out. Boy am I glad I did! The two girls got upset with each other, turned their backs, and then started playing together again within a matter of seconds. It made me curious and I began researching preschool friendships (I know…who has time for that right?!?).

I was amazed how much girl friendships start off magically. I knew it wasn’t just my child and her friends but it is actually a stage girls go through. Annora can go up to another child and start talking and when she has to leave, she is eager to tell me she met a new “best” friend. What I have noticed is the magic of friendship really starts when girls are drawn to each other through imaginative play and common interests. My question is why does that leave us as we age? Fear of rejection maybe?

Annora (and most preschoolers) has an enormous capacity to bond with others and she thrives on doing so. She forms attachments that have a great deal of importance and meaning to her. Almost like she ‘falls in love at first sight.’ Everything becomes right when her friend walks in the door. You can easily hear a high pitched squeal as a friend enters a room.

I have also noticed that girls and boys often stop playing together in preschool. Maybe this is Daddy directed though-LOL. Annora has become more drawn to her girlfriends and how often she can get together and play with them than playing outside with her little boy friends. I read somewhere that the shift into gender-exclusive play begins between ages of three and five for many children. When given a choice, Annora tends to be drawn towards art, dolls, and fantasy games, while her little boy friends often go to play with blocks or want to play with trucks and cars. With boys, the activity seems to be the main focus, but with girls, even as young as Annora, the relationship has become primary.

It amazes me the difference of a relationship between the ages of 3 and 5, how vastly they change and the importance they have in Annora’s life. For now, we continue to play dress up, dolls, perform on stage and squeal when our “best” friends walk through the door… and I dread when those days cease to exist.