Working with kids…You may be thinking, “What does she have to add to this topic? I mean, she is a stay-at-home momma, right?”
Well yes, I am a stay at home momma and love every minute of it but on the contrary, I am a working momma. I like to say that I am a “stay-at-home mom that works”…meaning that I consider myself a stay-at-home mom during the daytime hours while the kiddos are awake and while they sleep, I work. I am a mom blogger, I teach my daughter preschool from home, I am a health and fitness coach and I am also a wedding coordinator on the weekends…PHEW! I wear many hats just like the rest of us out there but how do I do it? How do I pull off the whole stay-at-home mom thing AND work more than 15-25 hours a week? It isn’t easy but it also isn’t impossible.
Personally I think it is important to have “Me Time” and let your kids know that you need time to yourself. I also think it is important that kids know that you working is one way that you show love to them…making sure they are given ample opportunity in life. I remember my mom working…and I never felt neglected in any way. So mommas out there…stop the mom guilt and be proud that you are doing something to provide for your family. For you mommas out there that stay home and don’t have your own extracurriculars to take up your time, that is amazing as well. I give you kudos for the 24/7 career you have taken on so gracefully. Your child/ren will benefit tremendously from your dedication.
I land somewhere in the middle and I have a feeling many other parents out there do as well. I recently read an article that truly captured the essence of being a momma. Here is a blurb from that article:
Stay-at-home mothers don’t magically raise happy children; happy, satisfied mothers do, whether they’re engaged by a full day with small children, or a full day at work (both hard jobs, by the way).
Isn’t that just the truth. We, as mother’s, need to find our happy and use that to drive our parenting abilities. And then there is mom guilt. Whether you’ve never heard of mom guilt or can’t escape its relentless grip, it simply means that pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or making decisions that may “mess up” your kids in the long run.
Mom (or dad) guilt may be temporary, like how I feel about my kids watching too much Peppa this week. Or it may be longer term, like whether we’ve enrolled them in enough activities over the past few years.
Some moms feel a dread or a weight on their shoulders (or chest, soul, etc.), and some feel panicky — like they need to fix the problem right now. Mom guilt is the shoulds, the supposed to’s, and the other moms are… clanking around in your head as you try to make it through the day.
I remember being particularly irritated one day from what I considered to be an unfair label. I made a quick mental list of what most people thought stay-at-home moms did all day … watch TV, chauffeur the kids to and from activities, babysit, play nurse, cook, and act as a maid. With the exception of the TV watching, I added up what one person doing all of those careers should be earning. Adjusted for inflation and using the minimum wage amount, that would be about $130,000 per year!
There have been many studies about the worth of a stay-at-home mom. They include a much wider array of skill sets and responsibilities from academic advisor, psychologist, tailor, work/life program manager etc … with salary estimates at over $160,000 per year.
It would be miraculous to be paid that kind of money for my role. I never expect the actual check. But I do expect a higher level of respect from the community at-large. While there has been some change, I’m still generally waiting for that mindset shift for myself and my daughters.
While I don’t make that kind of money as a home-based working mom, the facts are that between my husband’s work (several jobs simultaneously at some points) and my ingenuity, we manage to stay financially stable and even able to provide an incredible range of experiences for our daughters.
We also remained the primary influencers on our daughters, an important family value we still share with our children.
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