It has been several months since our youngest of two, Delise got the diagnosis of severe anxiety. She is just two years old. Understanding how anxiety can be present in a toddler was mind boggling…and still is. What worries could she possibly have? I decided to dig deeper into her diagnosis and get a better understanding of what she was going through.
Having a child with anxiety feels very lonely. On the surface, everything seems alright. Teachers rave about them. Friends adore them. Relatives and family friends might not see what all the fuss is about. But what people don’t see is the daily struggle in the home. The fear that paralyzes them at night. The worries that consume their young mind and prompt them to feel nauseous, nervous and overwhelmed. Every day feels like a battle. A battle Delise doesn’t always win. I have discovered how to empower her by adjusting my parental role.
As a parent, we have a role in this battle. I could be a bystander, watching this beast overcome her. I could be a protector, paving a path so she feels no bumps. Or I could be a coach, training Delise for every battle, gearing her up to win the war.
I choose to be the coach!
To beat anxiety, you must understand anxiety. I had to learn how to recognize anxiety’s hidden symptoms like irritability and opposition. I had to learn about anxiety’s physical symptoms as well.
I am continuously learning how to detect Delise’s anxiety themes. Bedtime and the fear of the dark, being hungry, her OCD tendencies, being around men she isn’t familiar with, etc. These are all Delise’s triggers for an extreme meltdown and cause of an anxiety breakout.
Watching your child battle with anxiety is devastating. As parents, we are often confused about what our role should be. We often haphazardly fall into the bystander or protector role. I have learned that anxious children will flourish when their parents take on the coaching role. Fighting anxiety can be a lonely, overwhelming experience. Delise needs us to train, cheer-lead and encourage her throughout her fight. She needs us to celebrate her victories and pick her up when she is defeated. Ben and I can’t fight this fight for her, but we can certainly be by her side.
For a more in-depth look at how to empower your child, sign up for the parenting E-Course How to Teach Your Kids to Crush Anxiety. In this course, taught by a child therapist, you will be given a complete blueprint on how anxiety works and what you can do to help your child beat anxiety one skill at a time.
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