“No” is NOT Another Word for “Yes!”

It’s Saturday morning, you’re doing laundry, the kids are watching their morning cartoons, and it happens: Your middle child sees the toy of his dreams on TV, starts in with the begging, and doesn’t let up.

Their Lesson: “You can say, ‘It’s a cool toy. Let me find out how much it is, and I can help you save your allowance for it,’” says Berman. “You are teaching your child to work toward a goal –instead of giving in. It helps the child learn about goals, saving money, and it’s a good response for both parent and child.”

2. The Bribes

You’re having your boss over for dinner on Friday night, and while you begged your sister to watch the kids for the evening, no such luck. Is it time to start bribing them to be quiet with expensive sneakers or the latest handbag from Dolce & Gabbana?

Their Lesson: “Allow the child the opportunity to earn what you give them, and set limits around their expectations,” says Berman. Teach them early on how to make choices.”

3. The Divide and Conquer

You’ve been very clear and given your son a decisive NO when he asked, ”Can I go to the birthday party, puh-lease?” His tactic? To ask dad.

Your behavior: “Enforce in advance,” says Berman. “Tell a child that if you ask mom and get ‘no,’ and then you ask dad and get ‘yes,’ the ‘no’ still stands, and your punishment for asking us both is xyz.”

4. The Screaming in the Store

We’ve all seen it or been a part of it: The screaming child in the toy store. He wants the cool toy, and he’s not stopping until he has it.

Their Lesson: “There are two ways to approach it,” says Kindlon, who teaches child psychology at Harvard University.

First, plan ahead, and second, plan a response.

“Make a deal with them beforehand — you are going to buy them something and it’s only going to cost $5,” says Kindlon. “Or tell them, ‘I’m going shopping for your cousin and this is not for you.’ Give them structure beforehand so they’re not caught off guard. Then, if they still explode in the store, ignore them, say you are not going to listen anymore. Then you leave the store and take them with you.”

5. The Car Ride

You have 300 miles in front of you when your youngest explodes in a temper tantrum.

Their Lesson: “Plan ahead,” says Kindlon “Bring snacks, games, and things to keep them entertained in the car. If that doesn’t work, help them understand the consequences of their behavior. Again, with the ultimatum, if you use one, stick to it: ‘If you don’t stop behaving this way, you go straight to bed when you get home.’”

6. The Lack of Respect

Your kid just called you a name, or talked back, or showed you some all-around lack of what Aretha Franklin likes to call R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Their Lesson: “Dock a kid 50 cents on their allowance (if they earn an allowance) when they use a tone of voice or an inappropriate word you don’t like,” says Kindlon. “Maintain your cool. Show mature behavior, and give them consequences for their bad behavior.”

7. The Restaurant

You just sat down to dinner with your husband and three kids at a local restaurant when the outbursts start.

Their Lesson: “Before you get to the restaurant, tell your child what you expect in terms of behavior,” says Donahue. “If your behavior is good, here is what privilege will come your way, whether its dessert at the restaurant, or that they get to watch a movie when they get home.”

Kids need to understand that their privileges are based on their behavior, explains Donahue.

“While I’m not suggesting you bribe your kids or take them to Toys ‘R’ Us because they sit at the dinner table, they need to understand that the things they enjoy are privileges and they can have those things if they behave well,” says Donahue. “Kids have to have an understanding that good behavior is expected, and if they behave well, good things will come their way.”

8. The Morning Routine

It’s hard enough for you to get out of bed at 6 a.m., let alone get your two kids out of bed. Should you let them sleep late, just this once?

Their Lesson: “Kids shouldn’t come down and watch TV or play a video game first thing in the morning,” says Donahue. “It’s like saying you get to have this fun experience before you get dressed, brush your teeth, or do your work. You have to take care of your responsibilities first.”

9. The Homework

As your child gets older and wiser, his pile of homework grows — as does the frustration you feel in making sure he gets it all done.

Their Lesson: “There needs to be a reasonable structure for homework,” says Donahue. “Say to your kids, ‘At 3 p.m. you get to play, but at 4 p.m., you sit down and do your homework.’ It’s especially important in most families that homework get done before dinner. Set the structure in place so when they are older and they have more activities, they know they still need to get homework done before dinner.”

10. Parenting Tips

No matter the scenario, here are tips for dealing with parenting pitfalls:

Mean business. “Speak to your child like you mean business, and send clear messages when you’re communicating with your kids,” says Donahue.

Stick to your guns. “The toughest thing is to have endurance,” says Donahue. “Stick to your guns, even when the kids are whining and pushing your buttons. Kids know that if we have a history of not sticking to what we say, they’re going to push and push. Have the endurance and the strength and the energy to keep up with them.”

Plan ahead. “Parents have to do a better job of helping kids to anticipate the behavior that is expected of them beforehand,” Donahue tells WebMD. “When you’re in the middle of a situation, you’re busy and rushing and don’t think about it, and then things can get out of control.”

Take care of yourself. “Sleep more, exercise, and take care of yourself,” says Donahue. “Parenting is extremely exhausting work.”