I get it! You never want your child to be “labeled” special needs, you don’t ever want anything to be wrong with your child and you CERTAINLY wish it was something you could sweep under the rug…right?
“A child with special needs is one who requires some form of special care due to physical, mental, emotional or health reasons. Because each child is unique and has unique needs, no single approach to caring for children with special needs can be applied to all children, even those with the same disability or special need. The practice of inclusion means including children of all abilities in the same classroom or child care program. Inclusion means “a part,” not “apart.” (Children’s Inclusive Care Council of Amador and Calaveras June 2005, 4)
As a former elementary teacher I saw parents in denial time and time again. They had a child who may have needed special services (in the simplest of forms.This is not referring to parents of severely handicapped children) but because of pride and denial, they turned their backs to helping their child be successful with school, friends, and life in general. I sat at a table year after year and saw this exact scenario play out. Attention would be brought up to the parents that something may be going on with their preschooler, kindergartner, first grader, etc. and services would be offered and therapy available. SOOOO many times parents would not sign the paperwork, turn the other cheek and walk out of my classroom, never to be discussed again. HUMPH! (Now I must say that this is not every scenario…but a common one I unfortunately encountered)
Why is it that we have such a negative feeling toward such topics as being different?
For one, we never want our children to be labeled or to feel like they don’t belong with other kids. As a momma of 3 girls, all diagnosed with hypotonia, I get it. I have those same feelings and experience the same thoughts around the topic. I compare my girls to other kids who don’t suffer from low muscle tone…how can you not?!
Another reason may be we just don’t want our child to be different. If we ignore the fact that they are suffering in some way, maybe it will just go away. I used to call this the “Brush it under the rug” parent. I saw many parents do this and it truly broke my heart as an educator. My philosophy is and has always been…”Nothing changes unless you implement change in some way.”
These days, kids are integrated into the same classroom and many kids are pulled from the classroom for many different reasons. It could be to be challenged academically, to get extra help in reading, to have therapy, etc. Kids are in and out of classrooms and the thought that other kids have about the child leaving to get therapy is the same thought about the child leaving to go the restroom…they just don’t care from what I experienced in my own classroom. So parents in denial or not wanting their child to be “singled out” by their peers, rest assured it will likely NOT happen at the elementary level.
“We know that every child is special, and some children need special care
because of developmental, physical, health, emotional or behavioral problems. In order to meet the needs of the child, it is critical that parents and child care
professionals create and maintain a partnership to help each other help the child reach his or her full potential.”(Children’s Inclusive Care Council of Amador and Calaveras June 2005, 4)
Ok, Mary…What about the child in a severe situation that is diagnosed at an infants stage and the parent is unaware of services offered?
Now this is a whole different scenario and one that is touchy and hard to combat in one blog writing…but here goes:
When a child is diagnosed with a disability, it can feel like a whirlwind for the parent. Your world is forever changed and things get sticky and complicated. The doctors may recommend this therapy or that, try this try that, etc. Your head can spin from it all. Take a deep breath and know that you are not alone. Here is a rundown of my recommendations when in that situation:
- First you need to establish the needs of the child based on the results of testing the recommendations from your doctor.
- Find a specialist in the area (if you haven’t already) and get a game plan going together.
- If your child is under the age of 3, reach out to Help Me Grow (look it up based on the county you live in) and set up a consultation.(Help Me Grow is a voluntary family support program for pregnant women or new parents. Offered in every county of the state through a well-established network, Help Me Grow is an evidence-based program that promotes healthy growth and development for babies and young children. Their home visitors are well-trained professionals who use a non-judgmental and compassionate approach that empowers parents with skills, tools and confidence to nurture the healthy growth of their children.)http://www.helpmegrow.ohio.gov/
- Reach out to physical therapy (PT) and get an evaluation scheduled. This is not always covered by insurance so make sure you are aware of your policy.
With the correct direction and the help your child needs, success is just around the corner, you as a parent just need to be proactive and be the best advocate for your child that you can. The rest will fall into place.
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