Our family is blessed with three young girls who are a pleasure to be around and raise. My husband and I are truly blessed. As a family, we have fun together, we laugh together, and we enjoy spending time together. That being said, we also have three girls who can get on each others nerves. When summer hit for our oldest, it was evident that we needed a system set into place to make the transition into a new “norm” a bit easier and consistent when it came to everyone getting along. Being a former teacher, I am well aware that routines and consistency are key to success. Sure I could “wing it,” but why not set the girls up for success this summer.
So, I went to work on researching the best practices for parents with kids in multiple age groups. I Googled, looked through Pinterest and chatted with friends on what they were doing in their homes. The problem I had was that all of the information streaming into my head was not fitting our lifestyle and exactly what I was looking for. I soon realized that I needed to create my own behavior tracking system for the summer that would excite my kids and ignite a passion in them to work towards something.
I am excited to share the system we have put into place in our home that is extremely adaptable in any home…and how beautifully it is working out with keeping the peace. Here is the step-by-step process I went through to make this new system work for our family.
Step 1: Create a Chart
I designed a chart with the days of the week and number of weeks in the year. I used poster board, Sharpie marker, some laminated stars and some velcro. I designated 3 things that would warrant a star for the day and built the entire system around that. Your 3 stars may be different than mine because you will acknowledge the 3 areas that you will be working on.
The Chart:
My chart is easy and adaptable if we were to travel anywhere or get busy for the day. The girls have a chance to earn 3 stars a day.
One star for completing their ‘To-Do” List which takes them roughly 20 minutes to complete. I placed skills on the chart that we are currently working on so they get daily skill practice.
Another star is earned for their behavior chart. I get A LOT of questions on this one. The girls MUST END the day on green. They can move their card up and down the chart throughout the day and still end up on green. Remember…the key is positive behavior and if they have to move a card, knowing they are able to change their day around is key to their success and will make your life easier. If they get to a red card, they get a consequence that will STING pretty bad. I make my kids get rid of a toy. This hits them HARD! So far, we have gotten rid of 1 toy.
Things that constitute changing of a color:
Arguing with one another
Not listening to Mom or Dad
Disrespect
Lying
The LAST star is given for a good attitude. I watch them throughout the day and if they truly are making effort to have a good attitude, they earn their star. On the contrary, if they keep changing their color card and then moving it back to green, they would still get their star for the green card at the end of the day but lose their “good attitude” star.
How to Earn an Incentive:
Your child earns their incentive (that they will choose on Sunday night for the following day) by getting ALL stars on their chart. Remember…they have to EARN their reward…it isn’t handed to them. I usually display this on the refrigerator so they can be reminded of what they are working for. I also remind them first thing in the morning. I may say something like, “You are one step closer to your reward. I really hope our day is amazing today so you earn all of your stars!”
If they miss one star (which will and should happen), they can earn 1 extra star each day by doing an extra chore of your discretion.
CAUTION: Once a star is given on the chart, it CANNOT be removed so I hand out the stars at the end of the night right before the kids sleep. If they misbehave after a star is given, it affects the following days star.
Step 2: Design a Behavior Chart with your Child
I sat my girls down and we discussed the rules we planned to implement for the summer (and will always implement to be frank). We chatted about how we thought we would all want to be treated and also what it feels like when you aren’t treated kindly. We also talked about how important it is to treat others with kindness and respect…including Mommy and Daddy.
Step 3: Create the Incentives TOGETHER
What excites your child? What would they work toward? I had the girls come up with a long list of things that ignite the fire in their belly and things they wanted to earn. Most of the things in the jar are things that won’t cost my husband and I a dime. I was surprised at the list they came up with because it focused more on spending time together with park dates and one-on-one time than it did things that would break the bank.
Step 4: BE CONSISTENT
The key to this program working (or any program for that matter) is to commit to it. You can’t do it one day and not the next. The kids are working toward something they truly want and keeping the excitement going in important. The system will not work if you are not consistent so make sure you adapt it to what would work for you and your family.
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