A Letter to my Daughters
Ever since you were born I have repeated the same phrase to you every day of your life. You are safe, loved, strong, independent, brave, and kind. These are the character traits that your dad and I hope you grow up with.
You are Safe
As a baby when you cried I would shush you and whisper into your ear that you were safe. I often thought that you got scared when you woke up in your baby box. Maybe you were disoriented and didn’t know where you were.
When I was a child I was scared of rollercoasters and thrill rides. My mind always went to the worst-case scenario of what could happen. As an adult, I have learned to tell myself that I am safe, that if the thrill ride was unsafe they wouldn’t continue to have people on it.
On a very basic level safety can be bought with money (to a certain extent). Money can bring safety, from a roof over one’s head to the luxury and privilege of job security or living in a safe neighbourhood.
I want you to know that you are safe, whether you choose to go on thrill rides, just need a hug from me, or have your financial house in order.
You are Loved
Your dad and I tried for two and a half years before we were able to conceive you. We loved you before we had even met you. We have made it our mission to shower you with love every day since your birth.
There will be times when you make choices in general and with your money that we do not agree with. But hopefully, we have instilled in you the fundamentals and financial literacy you will need.
No matter what you do, or what choices you make, we will always love you. And we are not alone, you are loved by so many friends and family members. Whenever you feel alone, always remember that you are loved.
You are Strong
There will be times when you will have to make tough choices. When you are faced with one of these tough choices, know that you are strong and that whatever choice you make will be the right one for you.
You are mentally strong and we hope that we have equipped you with the strategies to manage any problem that you may face. When you need help or assistance we will be right here for you. We will not solve your problems for you but will listen when you need someone to talk to.
You are physically strong. Physical activity has been a cornerstone in both your father’s and my life and we hope to share this love for activity with you as well. There are great motivational and psychological benefits to be gained from being physically active.
You are Independent
Although there will be times when I will want to shelter you from harm and protect you from making mistakes, I need to remember that you are independent. Growing up, I prided myself on my independence and hope that one day you do the same.
With your independent spirit I hope that you travel and see the world.
Financial independence is also something that I hope that you achieve. That you gain the knowledge to understand your money so that you do not need to rely on anyone, save early, save often and invest wisely.
Although your father and I hope that you one day find a partner to share your life with, maintaining your independence within your relationships will be important. One way to do this is to understand and have control over your money. Your finances can give you control, options, and independence.
You are Brave
Along with being independent, you are also brave.
I will continue to provide you with opportunities to take risks so that you learn that you are in fact brave and a risk-taker. At a young age, you have always been a risk-taker, sometimes so much so that you scare your father and I. Never lose this, be brave, but learn your boundaries.
My hope is that you continue to be brave enough to explore and learn new things. And that you learn that the only way to really grow is to get out of your comfort zone.
Part of being brave is standing up for yourself. This will be required when you start working. Be brave in knowing that you can negotiate for yourself. Even if your boss seems scary or intimidating, know that you can do this. Make sure that you are paid what you are worth for the work that you do.
You are Kind
If I could only wish but one thing for you, it would be that you are kind; kind of spirit with your time and money.
You are very lucky and will grow up with a lot of privileges that others in the world may not have. That doesn’t mean that you should take this for granted. Give generously of your money and your time.
There will be times when you will feel like you have nothing to give. Search within and find your kindness and you will know that there is always something you can do to help someone else. But don’t lose yourself in helping others, only ever give a little bit more than you think you can handle.
Remember to also be kind to yourself. There will be times when you will be upset with yourself for the decisions you make (or don’t make), show yourself grace in these times.
When faced with a disagreement, or treated (what you believe to be) unfairly, choose kindness. Kindness will diffuse an argument faster than any other method.
Final Thoughts
And so in closing my love bugs, my hope is that you continue to grow up with these messages. We will have been successful parents if as a young lady you know all of these things to be true.
That being said we are not perfect, we are new to this parenting game. And we will make mistakes along the way. But just know that underneath every one of our decisions is a great amount of love and pride.
I’ve waited a long time for you three and you have turned out better than I could have ever imagined.
Always remember that you are safe, loved, strong, independent, brave, and kind.
~Momma Bear
There it is, that is the letter to my daughters for Mother’s Day this year. I hope that his letter provides a sample you can use for your own letter to your daughter. There is no better time to tell someone how you feel, especially since physical contact is so limited at the moment.
